I don’t know about you, but I am ridiculously self conscious. And I hate every minute of it.
I struggle with people-pleasing, and just avoiding people I feel have a negative vibe about what I do in my daughter’s memory. BUT this whole perception thing bothers me to the core, no matter how much I’d like to say it doesn’t.
I remember having a professor in college who taught Philosophy of Death and Dying – creepy or ironic? Anyway, I opted to take this one over the basic Philosophy course, for fear of failing out of pure boredom.
Dr. White from day one, carried our class on her wings. It was her baby. And later I would find out why. She shared with us sometime during that semester that she had lost her young adult daughter. I can’t remember for sure how it happened but I think it was a car accident.
I remember thinking she was a little… crazy for lack of a better word? I am horrible. I just thought she truly never got over her daughter’s death, after she clearly chose a profession that stemmed from her traumatic loss.
At the time I was neither married nor a mother. Just plain stupid. I wish I could go back and slap that girl.
Looking back, I realize every attempt to make my daughter’s life count may be perceived through similar, narrow lenses.
As a means to reconcile some of the gaps between what is really ‘me’ and what is perceived on the outside, I am going to take on a self-portrait project.
And I’d looooooovee for you to join me.
Think of it as a gateway to express who you are, who you used to be and who you have become through all of your experiences.
The basic idea is to create an image of yourself. It doesn’t have to be an exact likeness of you, in fact it doesn’t have to look like you at all.
This self-portrait project is not meant to be a classic art display of talent, rather of reflection. Who you know you are inside and not so much what others can see.
Here are a few images I found online that I hope inspire you. You don’t have to have an artistic bone in your body to take on this challenge. Just a need to express…
As you can see, self portraits are not limited to just paint on canvas, it can be… anything.
I find art to be cathartic, and healing. And I am DYING to get back into my messy studio!!!
Will you join me?