This post is inspired by the adorable Casey.
I LURVE coffee. A little too much. Me and coffee have been best buds since I convinced my 19-year old self to pull all-nighters in college. Oh, the good ol’ days.
Since most of my blog friends live across the country or the world {which makes me a bit sad sometimes} I thought it would be nice to grab a cup of coffee together and catch up.
Won’t you join me? I’m having a ton of creamer in mine and way too much sugar. If you’re not a coffee drinker, feel free to grab a glass of iced tea out of the fridge.
If we could sit across the table and share our drinks together I’d tell you that I’m drowning in heartache tonight.
As I read through all the quotes from many bereaved mothers for the Lost for Words calendars I felt overwhelmed for anyone and everyone who has ever experienced the loss of a child.
It’s truly incredible friends, that we are still standing. Still here. Still breathing.
I often wonder how women handled this in the old days. Before computers. Before grief support groups. Before Oprah.
I’d also tell you that our marriage got 1000 times sweeter after Jenna passed. It’s not been perfect {what marriage is?} but it’s one of the most beautiful gifts our sweet girl left behind. We fell in love all over again.
I’d tell you that I go to bed way too late and it’s starting to catch up. I’m trying to find 5 extra hours in the day that don’t exist. Or an assistant to check my email, take care of all my paperwork and fold my laundry. *smile*
I’d tell you that Jesus has been enough. He’s been enough on the days I couldn’t pray, on the days I didn’t WANT to pray, on the days I was at his feet crying.
I’d tell you that on the inside I feel a lot older than 26 years old.
I’d tell you that sometimes I’m still afraid of losing my son. There are times when I look at him, that I still can’t believe he’s really mine. That feeling of complete awe has not completely wore off. I hope it never does.
I’d tell you that I’ll try to never ever take the rain for granted again. It rained and rained… and rained this weekend. Praise. The. Lord.
I’d ask you all about you. Your sweet baby(ies). Your heart.
I hope it won’t be long before we can catch up again :)
XOXO
Fran I love this. Being a coffee lover myself I find something magical about being able to catch up over a cup. Something about that mug in hand allows me to feel cozy, comfortable, and willing to open up and share. Thank you for sharing a bit of yourself with us here. You are a beautiful soul and I resonate with so much that you’ve said here. I sometimes look at my rainbow Brielle and worry and stare in wonderment at her too. xoxo.
Oh a cup of coffee does have that power doesn’t it? Especially now that it’s getting cooler out :)
Franchesca recently posted..coffee date?
Well, I dont drink coffee or tea so maybe hot chocolate for me? :)
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Oh hot chocolate! YUM! Yes definitely :)
Franchesca recently posted..coffee date?
I saw Casey’s post and loved it! Yours is just as fabulous! Thank you so much for sharing :)
Hmmmm- I’d have tea or like Holly hot chocolate! Yum!
Thanks so much girl. Yea, I think hot chocolate is definitely a yummy alternative!! XO
Franchesca recently posted..coffee date?
Hey Dear.
This is so beautiful. I love the part about falling in love with your hubby all over again. Somehow His grace carries us and continues to bless.
Thanks also for stopping by our little bloggity blog. So fun to have you. I hope you come and stay a while.
xoxo
Oh Nicole, thank you so much. I think that’s my favorite part :) Having the privilege of getting to falling in love with him all over again. God is so good. I will definitely be stopping by your blog again!! Thanks so much for stopping by here too! XO
Franchesca recently posted..coffee date?
Such a beautiful post. I feel so many of the things you do. I turned 30 this year and it hit me that I really feel so much older inside! I always say that grief has aged me in many ways.
You made me want coffee! I haven’t had any since becoming pregnant w/ Carly.
Oh I hope you get your cup of coffee soon :) It is amazing that we feel so much older, and I too don’t always realize it until I see a normal 26 year old, whatever their normal happens to be. Glad I am not alone in this though xxxx
Franchesca recently posted..coffee date?
Oh poo, I think I missed the coffee date. Anyhoo, I love my Keurig and welcome a cup any time of day especially now that it’s getting cooler in the evening. Favorites right now are Pumpkin Spice and Hot Apple Cider.
I still look at my son and am in awe of his being. I feel like his siblings are in his heart making him a loving and caring child. I have realized in recent years that I have guarded him a little more than I probably would have had my other children lived. He’s almost 11 and just went on his first real sleepover, I count that a major accomplishment for me. When it’s all you have you cherish it a little more and fear that it will all be taken away.
http://restinhopepsalm16.blogspot.com/
I’ve heard so many wonderful things about the Keurig!!! I think it’s on my Christmas wish list ;) Hot Apple Cider sounds AMAZING!!!
Oh man I cannot even wrap my mind around all the things I’m going to have to start doing as my boy grows up. Just slowly letting him grow up now is so hard!!! I think as bereaved parents we do treasure our moments that much more because we know what it is to lose them.
Sweet post. Happy to hear that your marriage is wonderful. Often tragedy can bring the opposite result. I don’t drink too much coffee but I do love a Frappuccino from time to time.
Thank you Debby, God’s been so soo good.
Fraps are my favorites!!!
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