Meet Nika. Baby lost mother to Lilly Grace and Brake Patton. She has started something beautiful in their honor. Pulling from her own experiences she describes in her own words her project called Lilly’s Dream and how she hopes to make a difference for families facing the loss of a child.
“Hi, I’m Nika!
I’m a writer. A photographer. A sister. A dancer. A painter. An adventurer. An active-duty Sailor. And most importantly, a mother… to two beautiful angel babies, Lilly Grace and Brake Patton.
When we lost our babies, we felt so alone and lost. We didn’t have many, if any, resources available for us. We were appalled at the manner in which our loss was handled by our doctors.
Because both of our losses were before 20 weeks, they were “just miscarriages” and “these things just happen.” One doctor even had the nerve to tell us we didn’t have to bother with a funeral because “18 weeks is still considered a fetus, which is, after all, technically just medical waste.” I gave birth to two living babies, but they weren’t far enough along to matter, to be babies rather than fetuses, to be acknowledged as real.
When I was pregnant with Brake, my mother made him a colorful rag quilt. I used to hold it and read stories to him and sing to him and talk to him. It’s one of the few things that were ever his, one of my favorites. I was devastated that I never got to wrap him up in it.
A few months ago, I started Lilly’s Dream, a non-profit organization to provide support and resources to parents who have lost a baby and to the hospitals that care for them. We provide the parents with memory boxes full of handmade items for their baby. We also include information about support and resources available locally or online. We are also working to help the doctors and nurses better handle these situations by providing them with better resources, and hopefully, working with them to improve understanding, bedside manner, and some hospital policies.
Our babies were both born before 20 weeks, way too tiny for even the tiniest preemie blankets. It broke my heart to see my baby taken away, cold and naked. Our smallest blankets are about 4”x6”, so that even the tiniest babies will have something warm. Because even the tiniest babies should be treated with the love and dignity they deserve….”
Please show some her some love by visiting her site/ facebook page if you have a moment :)
Be sure to share this post with your friends to help spread the word about Lilly’s Dream and this beautiful project!