Something about spring makes me feel close to her. Exactly three years ago (okay, give or take a few days) Pete and I climbed into our black Mazda M3. We chose that car over the Toyota Scion (sweeeeet car) almost a year prior because we wanted a baby and the whole two door+car seat thing just didn’t seem easy at all. Or practical.
Anyway where was I? Oh yea, the black car. We drove almost an hour drive to meet his mom and my mom at the Willowbrook Hospital.
Today was the day.
Goodness, we both wanted a girl so bad. The night before Pete said he’d dreamt it was a girl.
The ultrasound we were all there for would tell us he was right. But it also ended this blissful pregnancy in no time at all.
Three years. How does one get here so quickly?
I can remember that day like yesterday. I want that innocence, that care-free attitude back.
It’s all getting much, much closer all so fast.
I feel the strings in my heart starting to tighten up and tears come much more easily than they did just a few weeks ago.
Yesterday Pete was mentioning how sad he was for Bubby that he doesn’t have a constant playmate. Nobody saw it but it made me cry. It shouldn’t be like this.
On a happier note, the spring is bringing me little bits of happiness here and there. Her redbud tree had some pink on it yesterday, and the flowers that were in her garden are starting to blossom.
Three years hardly changes a thing. But the beauty of this time of year helps me smile just a little bit more.
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