Grief is the craziest emotion I’ve ever felt.
It doesn’t have one expression or face. I think that’s what makes it so hard to recognize. And even more confusing for well-meaning friends and family who think you are over everything on a ‘good day’.
It never, ever makes sense.
Sometimes it looks a puddle.
Sometimes it looks like the storm that caused the puddle.
Sometimes a fierce, relentless storm with typhoons and tornadoes.
Sometimes it looks like a volcano waiting to explode, where something as small as a word, song or smell can send you into a balling mess.
Sometimes it looks like a calm ocean.
Sometimes it looks like the butterflies dancing in the grass.
And sometimes like today, it looks like this blank canvas.
I see my daughter’s pictures, and I am instantly filled with so much longing.
No tears, but there is sadness.
Not necessarily beaming with a smile, but there is joy.
You’d never know I lost a daughter if you see me in a store. And you’d never know about the ripples she has sent through this world at only 13 days old.
But if you take a glimpse into my heart, my hope is that you might also get a glimpse of me learning the steps to this crazy, almost forbidden dance between grief and joy.
Beautiful and every word is so true for me too. Yesterday, as I was driving home a cloud in the shape of a heart made me start sobbing. Another time, the same thing would make me smile. And “this crazy, almost forbidden dance between grief and joy” – well, I’m learning the steps too!
I don’t think it grief ever goes a away, but after time the same things make you cry still but they are happy tears as you remember and are thankful for the times you had together.
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This is beautifully said! I have a really hard time putting words to my grief. You do it so eloquently. Thank you
Wow, Fran! Beautifully said. You always seem to take the words right out of my mouth.
“And even more confusing for well-meaning friends and family who think you are over everything on a ‘good day’.”
This is so true. I wish it were easier to explain to them.
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You really have a way of saying things that are on my mind.
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((HUGS)) Beautiful
So true. Love this!
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