The Journey

Grief is the craziest emotion I’ve ever felt.

It doesn’t have one expression or face. I think that’s what makes it so hard to recognize. And even more confusing for well-meaning friends and family who think you are over everything on a ‘good day’.

It never, ever makes sense.

Sometimes it looks a puddle.

Sometimes it looks like the storm that caused the puddle.

Sometimes a fierce, relentless storm with typhoons and tornadoes.

Sometimes it looks like a volcano waiting to explode, where something as small as a word, song or smell can send you into a balling mess.

Sometimes it looks like a calm ocean.

Sometimes it looks like the butterflies dancing in the grass.

And sometimes like today, it looks like this blank canvas.

I see my daughter’s pictures, and I am instantly filled with so much longing.

No tears, but there is sadness.

Not necessarily beaming with a smile, but there is joy.

You’d never know I lost a daughter if you see me in a store. And you’d never know about the ripples she has sent through this world at only 13 days old.

But if you take a glimpse into my heart, my hope is that you might also get a glimpse of me learning the steps to this crazy, almost forbidden dance between grief and joy.

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  1. 1
    Anne says:

    Beautiful and every word is so true for me too. Yesterday, as I was driving home a cloud in the shape of a heart made me start sobbing. Another time, the same thing would make me smile. And “this crazy, almost forbidden dance between grief and joy” – well, I’m learning the steps too!

  2. 2

    I don’t think it grief ever goes a away, but after time the same things make you cry still but they are happy tears as you remember and are thankful for the times you had together.
    Kendra@ A Proverbs 31 Wife recently posted..Quick Tip Tuesdays – Freezer FoodMy Profile

  3. 3
    Jamie says:

    This is beautifully said! I have a really hard time putting words to my grief. You do it so eloquently. Thank you

  4. 4
    Stefanie says:

    Wow, Fran! Beautifully said. You always seem to take the words right out of my mouth.
    “And even more confusing for well-meaning friends and family who think you are over everything on a ‘good day’.”
    This is so true. I wish it were easier to explain to them.
    Stefanie recently posted..What do you say…Michalina-ismMy Profile

  5. 5
    Stephine says:

    You really have a way of saying things that are on my mind.
    Stephine recently posted..Not So Wordless Wednesday { A Special Gift }My Profile

  6. 6
    Debby Pucci says:

    ((HUGS)) Beautiful

  7. 7

    So true. Love this!
    Kelly @ Sufficient Grace recently posted..The Journey in June ~ Still StandingMy Profile

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