I feel like my brain, my life, my heart is kind of all over the place. Happy, sad, rejoicing, thankful, heartbroken and just dying to get the to beach one more time this summer. So… this post is kind of a reflection of that (minus the beach craving).
If I was honest, I would tell you I’ve wondered a lot (more than I’d like to admit) if she will be the only girl I ever have.
Is it alright to admit that thought makes my heart a little sad? Nothing will thrill me more than to bring home a healthy baby – boy or girl – but I feel like I missing something amazing by not getting to raise a girl with all the glitter and excitement that little girls tend to be surrounded by.
At the end of the day, I miss the daughter I had for a while.
If I was honest, I’d tell you something about Joseph becoming increasingly independent makes me starve for this little baby to be here even faster. To have a little one to nurture and hold a while. While Joseph loves to cuddle, these days he is good with just a brief hug and then he is ready to conquer the world with books, puzzles and toys all day long. He never tires :)
And if I was completely honest, I’d tell you this blog has changed drastically this year – in content and in quantity – and I am 100% okay with that. I read this post and this post recently and I felt like I was nodding in total agreement the entire time. I don’t write as often, but only because I want to come here when I truly have something to say. Even though at the end of the day (and in twenty years) this will just be a collection of random thoughts by another twenty seven year old mama + wife.
And if we were sitting on the couch, spilling our hearts over cold lemonade and chocolate chip cookies, I’d share that tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough. Tomorrow something big and amazing happens. You might remember, or you might not but I’ve mentioned a time or two that I was working on a project at Jenna’s hospital called The Wall of Hope, for the NICU floor.
Tomorrow, my friends, it goes live. Finally!!! :) There will be this little ceremony, a real unveiling. I have been working for months and months and months on this project with a few other team members, and it will all be worth it tomorrow! Just thinking about how powerful this wall of hope will be for families in the NICU brings tears to my eyes, because I know it would have done so much for us. I hope to share pictures as soon as humanly possible! :) I can’t tell you how much of an honor it is to be a part of her hospital this way. No words, just tears of joy and gratitude.
Later this week, to celebrate the new look and theme of my subway art shop, I will be hosting a giveaway right here on my blog. I am so thrilled with the way it turned out! Be sure to visit by clicking on the link below.