Thoughts on Moving.

The past few days have been futile.

As we prepare to put this house on the market – our home - nostalgia is setting in. I remember bringing Joseph home. I remember sitting next to his sleeping, breathing little body on the big green couch and thinking what will I do without his nurses?

I guess I figured it out;)

But the memories are hard to let go of. The bringing home of hope, love and joy. Restoration and healing.

This was our first house.

We have shoved all personal photos in boxes. They say to detach yourself from your home makes the selling that much easier. I hope they’re right, because it’s all kinds of painful.

As I have been tearing through drawers, cabinets, closets and rooms one thing has constantly had me smiling though.

Jenna-things.

Do you know how many Jenna things I have come across? They are scattered all throughout our home and have traveled to our little place in Texas from all over the world. I have a box or two with her things, and I’ve decided it’s easiest to just keep this one open til the big move, because I keep finding Jenna-things. I am so grateful for this community. The world of people that share her memory, without ever meeting us in real life.

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    Heidi says:

    This came up recently for us. The threat of a job change is scary. I am usually up for a little change, but the thought leaving the place that is “stamped” Jamie is horrible to me. It isn’t just the Jamie things, it is the tree planted in the backyard. It is the place she “lived” inside me…..
    Heidi recently posted..She follows me everywhereMy Profile

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    Stephanie D says:

    Just like the little things, she is always near.
    Stephanie D recently posted..SurrenderMy Profile

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    Jessica says:

    We just went through the same thing. Our realtor told us to remove any personal pictures and pack away my Corbin’s swing. I couldn’t do it. Every time we’d have a showing, I would put the pictures in what I called the “Corbin Special” box and put the swing out in the garage. Once the showing was over, the pictures went back up and swing came back out. It was very hard for me to leave the only home our son ever knew. I had to keep telling myself it’s just a house and that our son would come with us. He definitely has as I have felt his presence and one of the first things I did unpacking-wise and settling- wise was to paint his room the same color it was in the old house and put everything back up that was his. It was important to me for him to have a place in our new home. We’re now closer to his final resting spot so I can go more often. Good luck with the sale and move. Hope it’s gentle on you.

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    Debby Pucci says:

    Are you moving far away? I know you live around the area where I have family and was hoping someday I would be able to meet you in person. Best of luck. ((HUGS))
    Debby Pucci recently posted..MY KIND OF TOWN – PART ONEMy Profile

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    Stephanie says:

    It is so hard to pack up and prepare for a move. Hang in there! I think it is so beautiful that Jenna is all over and that she is such a part of life that you didn’t really have to make an effort until it is time to find a new space for your new life. So many emotions, so much going on, and being pregnant is a lot. Remember to be gentle to yourself! Hope it sells quickly and that you won’t have to live in the unknown for too long.
    Stephanie recently posted..Holding You ~ New ArtworkMy Profile

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    Aprille says:

    We are probably moving next year and I already feel sad about it…even though i’m constantly annoyed at how cramped things are! This is where we found out about being pregnant and our son’s entire life has been here! i’m very excited to move on but nostalgic all at the same time!!!
    Aprille recently posted..Beauty in the chaos… Edition 09.26.12My Profile

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    Sarah says:

    We just finished a move, and it was very difficult to contemplate leaving our home- the home that was the only place my daughter had lived, and moving to a new place. Part of the problem was going to a place where people don’t know that someone is missing. Where we look like a normal family.

    I am one of those who feel the need to make sure everyone knows that I DO have a daughter, and she is just as much a part of our everyday life as the children they see walking in our yard. I was very set in our old neighborhood- most of our neighbors had watched me through my pregnancy, knowing that she was not likely to survive- everyone knew what had happened and when I mentioned my tiny girl I didn’t have to explain.

    The first day in our new house a neighbor came across the street to introduce herself. She is older and has a disabled child who is 21. She asked about our children and when my husband mentioned that we had lost our girl due to disabilities insurmountable at birth, she mentioned that she had had miscarriages. Later in the conversation (after what had most likely been a little internal dialogue on her part), she mentioned that not only had she suffered miscarriage but that her 21 year old son was actually a twin. His brother had died 9 days after he was born.

    Not only did I move o a neighborhood where I don’t have to be cautious about sharing my sweet girl- but I moved to a neighborhood where my closest neighbor knows EXACTLY how this mourning process works, and who I can relate to on a deep and meaningful level- a level where I can’t meet most of my closest friends any longer.

    I can also see where I may be 21 years on in this (I am almost at 2 years and I really didn’t think I’d make it this far.)

    Sometimes things that at first seem so difficult will turn into something even better than what you already had.

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    Veronica says:

    I feel you on this one. We bought this house last fall (a year yesterday was our closing date) because we knew my one bedroom condo wouldn’t cut it. We moved out of the city’s core, and picked out a sweet little 1 1/2 story house with a big long driveway to accommodate all of our out of town friends and family that would be sure to want to visit after our little one arrived.

    This entire house means “Alexander is coming”. We always had plans to move after a 2nd or 3rd child came along. Seems very bittersweet now. If we leave, a very physical reminder of him will be left behind.

    I would love to somehow take his room with us. The four walls and all.

    All the best for your move. Moving, aside from everything else, is a trying time in itself.
    Sending love
    Veronica recently posted..Dearest AlexanderMy Profile

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    Deirdre says:

    I totally know what you mean- it is bitter sweet! Best wishes! If you’d like to link up on the Photo Friday Blog Hop- you are welcome to add this or any other favorite post.. It’s up all weekend. Enjoy! Cheers!

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    RaeAnne says:

    Hi Franchesca, I’m sorry my comment is not about moving. We lost our son, Samuel Evan, in April and I’m always trying to find beautiful things for his special place in our house. I was wondering where you got the figurine in the photo. It’s so beautiful!
    RaeAnne recently posted..Getting awayMy Profile

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      Franchesca Franchesca says:

      Hi RaeAnne, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. The figurine was actually a gift, I have no idea where it was purchased. So sorry I can’t be of more help..

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