Brother + Sister

I was pleasantly surprised at yesterday’s ultrasound appointment. In a matter of minutes the technician flipped the screen from the 2D ultrasound that I can hardly ever make out, to the fun 3D one.

My first impression? Tears. She looks so much like Bubby did at this stage (bottom one is Baby Peach).

In a flurry Dr. A came in, did her measurements and quickly but steadily assured me all was well. I could sense urgency on her.

Down the hall, before the ultrasound began I could hear muffled, concerned tones. You hear that quite a bit at this office. As I was leaving I heard one of the nurses say the baby’s heartbeat was dropping.

I’ve been in that other room, been that other woman hearing horrible words like that.

I felt so much guilt for being the one with good news yet again, and so much sadness for what the other family is no doubt enduring right now.

I walked out of the office with so much emotion. Mostly I just wanted to cry. Somedays I’d still like to know why. Yesterday was one of those days.

I called Pete and shared the good news. I got quiet and just gushed after he asked what was wrong. I said something like ‘baby aspirin could have saved her life!!’ Of course, no one will ever know that for sure, but it’s helped both subsequent pregnancies keep the blood clots to a minimum. I can’t help but wonder…

It shouldn’t be this way. Yesterday was such a gift. I got to see Baby Peach’s features. Her big eyes, forehead, nose… the petiteness compared to her big brother.

Maybe, just maybe this bittersweetness is a gift in itself though. It keeps pain close. It keeps the possibility of loss real. I don’t ever want to take the beauty of good news for granted.

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Comments

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    Stephanie says:

    TOTALLY get you. We had our 20 wk. ultrasound yesterday. I was on pins and needles all day (lost daughter at 15 weeks). Most def bittersweet. I then heard two friends had miscarried. May we always see these sweet babies as a gift!

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    Debby Pucci says:

    The emotions of life will never stop affecting me. I am so happy that right now you have joy and I will pray for those in the doctors office who may not be so fortunate. ((HUGS)) Always have you and Jenna in my thoughts.
    Debby Pucci recently posted..WEDNESDAY HODGEPODGEMy Profile

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    Betty says:

    Beautiful post Fran. xoxo (((hugs)))

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    Amanda says:

    Beautiful. Praying for more good news for you as you progress :)

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    Robin Heim says:

    Very touching! So, so glad to be participating in Flying Lessons with so many remarkable and talented women like yourself. ~ Seasons of Grace & Wisdom
    Robin Heim recently posted..Drinking of ParisMy Profile

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    Catherine says:

    What a beautiful post incorporating all 3 of your precious children. Sending many many prayers for Baby Peach’s continued health!

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    Jess says:

    Such a beautiful post, and very beautiful baby pics. They do look so much alike! There really is so much bittersweet in this world after loss, but you are right, it helps us treasure the beautiful moments so much more deeply because we do know the other side so deeply as well. Prayers and blessings to you and Baby Peach!

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    Awww
    Amanda Jillian recently posted..Prayers on the church stairsMy Profile

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    Mary_M says:

    This is why you’re so incredible: because in the midst of your joy, you still took time for compassion, to breathe a prayer & to recognize someone else’s potential pain & to grieve with them while never even seeing their faces.

    As for faces: Peach is beautiful & does look so much like her big brother!!! Thank you for sharing this special picture with us!!! <3
    Mary_M recently posted..Meet BranwenMy Profile

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