Please don’t hate me for saying this, but I used to see campaigns for such-and-such awareness before our loss and was always a little confused. Usually it was for breast cancer, prostate cancer or something that is highly recognized – noble causes. They should be recognized – I never questioned that part.
But in my ignorance… and bliss… and my happy bubble I always thought in the back of my mind… why?
Why create ribbons? Why make the football players wear that lovely shade of pink every October? To be frank – IS it making a difference? IS it saving a life? That is the whole point, right?
Well, now I sort of get it.
I create ribbons, and I like to make a fuss this time of year any small way I can. Not because I want sympathy. Not because I want to make you uncomfortable or squirm in your happy bubble when you see my ribbon profile on facebook. And to be honest, if you aren’t comfortable talking about our loss, even this time of year, I am completely okay with that. This is bigger than us.
I want you to know this really happens. Babies really die. For all sorts of reasons – explained and unexplained. October is about remembering our children gone too soon, but really it is a reflection of just how many people are affected worldwide, every moment of every day. One in four. One in four women will face a pregnancy/ infant loss in her lifetime. Some more than one.
In the past few years I’ve seen it become a little less of a taboo and that is wonderful. Wonderful only because that means one less woman will feel like she is crazy when she goes through these emotions.
Why is it necessary to talk about this? We may, and we may not save another baby by talking about it, but we can – with a willingness to break the taboo – make room in our hearts for compassion. Not every time a woman sees two pink lines come across that pregnancy strip does a baby come home nine months later.
Let’s make her feel less alone. Let’s break the taboo and lend her the compassion she and her family so rightfully deserve.