Please don’t hate me for saying this, but I used to see campaigns for such-and-such awareness before our loss and was always a little confused. Usually it was for breast cancer, prostate cancer or something that is highly recognized – noble causes. They should be recognized – I never questioned that part.
But in my ignorance… and bliss… and my happy bubble I always thought in the back of my mind… why?
Why create ribbons? Why make the football players wear that lovely shade of pink every October? To be frank – IS it making a difference? IS it saving a life? That is the whole point, right?
Well, now I sort of get it.
I create ribbons, and I like to make a fuss this time of year any small way I can. Not because I want sympathy. Not because I want to make you uncomfortable or squirm in your happy bubble when you see my ribbon profile on facebook. And to be honest, if you aren’t comfortable talking about our loss, even this time of year, I am completely okay with that. This is bigger than us.
But.
I want you to know this really happens. Babies really die. For all sorts of reasons – explained and unexplained. October is about remembering our children gone too soon, but really it is a reflection of just how many people are affected worldwide, every moment of every day. One in four. One in four women will face a pregnancy/ infant loss in her lifetime. Some more than one.
In the past few years I’ve seen it become a little less of a taboo and that is wonderful. Wonderful only because that means one less woman will feel like she is crazy when she goes through these emotions.
Why is it necessary to talk about this? We may, and we may not save another baby by talking about it, but we can – with a willingness to break the taboo – make room in our hearts for compassion. Not every time a woman sees two pink lines come across that pregnancy strip does a baby come home nine months later.
Let’s make her feel less alone. Let’s break the taboo and lend her the compassion she and her family so rightfully deserve.
:)
Stephanie D recently posted..CYG2012: Days 9-12
You manage to say the right thing every time. Breaking the silence right along with you.
Lisa ♥
Lisa Sissons recently posted..My Updates from Finley’s Birth and the Days Shortly After
Thank you Lisa!! xoxoxo
Franchesca recently posted..Why It Is Important to Break the Silence About Baby Loss
Beautifully said…I hate to ever “welcome” anyone into the world of baby loss, but am so glad to know that there is such a wonderful support system out here not just for mommies & daddies, but extended families too…grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, etc.
The “Breaking the Silence” picture you did for Aunts a couple weeks ago brought me to tears. It was as though I was being hugged & accepted (all over again) into this supportive world of baby loss where I’ve truly met some of the most incredible people ever.
Love you!
Mary_M recently posted..Nice Day Turns to Mini Horror Story…
So true, it’s definitely a club no one ever wants to join, or ever dreams of joining but so thankful for the amazing support I’ve found over the years. Thank you so much for helping us break the silence Mary <3 sending giant hugs to you this weekend!
Franchesca recently posted..Why It Is Important to Break the Silence About Baby Loss
Aww you’re going to make me cry, not hard to do right now.
Amanda Jillian recently posted..The eyes have it
(((amanda)))
Franchesca recently posted..Why It Is Important to Break the Silence About Baby Loss
Thanks for the great post again! I am so glad I found your blog! As a mom of a lost child and also a miscarrage, and a grandmother of a lost grandchild and numerous miscarrages of grandchildren, I have found your blog at a perfect time a couple months ago. I would love to break the silence. It is so hard to show compassion when there is silence. You have brought tears to my eyes many times the last months. You speak what is in my heart! Thanks.
“It is so hard to show compassion when there is silence.” yes. So so true. Sending big hugs to you this weekend <3
Franchesca recently posted..Why It Is Important to Break the Silence About Baby Loss
And you have made a huge impact on this world. Spreading the word and sharing and remembering our babies. Thank you Fran for all you have done and continue to do.
Stefanie recently posted..Capture Your Grief: Week 1
Xoxox!
You are absolutely right!! We need to talk, share and support. I also wish more men would speak out more because it affects them so much as well. Blessings to everyone!!!
NayLahKnee recently posted..National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day
I am posting the link to this article on my blog right now!! This is so perfectly and beautifully written! Thank you for sharing <3
Catherine recently posted..October 15th – Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day
I am another one in four, and join you in remembering today. xo
Thank you for writing this great article. As a family who has been through a loss, we created a grief support children’s book to give back to the community. We provide Special Delivery free of charge at http://www.SpecialDeliveryBook.org
Please follow and LIKE us on:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Special-Delivery-support-for-infant-loss/114924975327935?ref=hl
How amazing is this book!!! Thank you for sharing. I also shared on my online magazine site: facebook.com/stillstandingmag
Your magazine is wonderful. I have seen it Franchesca. Please feel free to share our site with your readers who may want a copy of the book. We have been so blessed to have met such supportive people along our journey and aim to carry on our little angel, Macy’s legacy with this book. Our Facebook page has my contact info as well so we can connect more.