Over time I didn’t find as much comfort spilling all the details about our loss with every stranger, and every person I happened to talk to.
Over time I realized her story, our journey with her… those words… they are gifts that God gave us to share. And not just anyone can handle such love and such grief in a single story. I envy them, but I pity them too.
Over time it became clear that life would never ever be the same. Life would become sweet again. Sweeter, actually, than ever before – but it would be different.
Over time I began to talk about her less and less in real life. I ache to use her beautiful name. Call her from her room, whisper her name as we play hide and seek. Bring her up in conversation with other mommies, to spill some amazing or silly thing she did.
Over time I have found peace with our loss. Not to be confused with being ‘okay’, but peace. Peace is like a song that helps you to sleep at night. And like a wave that overcomes you, when you know you should be far from this place of bittersweet serenity.
Over time I have let a lot of things go. Hurtful comments, mindless accusations, and words that were spoken in haste rather than in thought. Over time they just weren’t worth the space in my heart.
Over time I’ve kept a lot of her stories, and the last few moments close to my heart.
Over time I have learned that it’s okay to smile again. Live again. Breathe again.
But in all the lessons time has brought me, being her mother has never changed.
And as her mother, I’ll speak her name today.
Today is for you, my sweet Jenna.
Jenna ~ Alyssa, Bailey, and Christian
Stephanie D recently posted..CYG2012 Days 13 & 14
<3 jenna <3
<3 arielle <3
Beautiful ((HUGS))
Debby Pucci recently posted..YOU OUGHTA BE IN PICTURES…..
A beautiful selection of post…Thanks a lot for sharing..
Christelle recently posted..halitosis
Thank you Christelle xo
Such a beautiful entry. I echoed your words and whispered her beautiful name as well. Thank you for this entry :)
xoxo
“Peace is like a song that helps you to sleep at night” – what a beautiful line it is !!!
Smile. Stay strong :-)
Olivia Watson recently posted..Argan Oil Benefits are Too Many to Mention…
Thank you so much Olivia :) xoxo
You are most welcome :-)
I love the way you describe peace, and how you have found that song, and yet I am with you, I still ache to say my daughter’s name out loud in all those every day moments we will never have. So sad, and yet I too have found peace.
Always, always bittersweet. I miss that so much. So grateful for peace that only God can give.
Franchesca recently posted..Perspective