These last few days have been filled with so much.
So much love.
So much hope.
So much anxiety.
And surprisingly so much grief.
When the nurse came into the room and announced that we would be taking the baby that night, it was everything I could do to not cry.
I fought back the tears. This birth, this experience, this moment did not have to be surrendered over to grief. Or to my loss.
It could be beautiful. It could be it’s own thing.
And it was. Somehow the past could not steal the moments that filled the room where she would take her first cry.
Since giving birth, I’ve fought tooth and nail to walk again and gain my strength.
Seeing her the first day in the level 3 NICU was intense. They were mostly monitoring her breathing and resting heart rate. She has since been moved to the level 2 NICU, and we hope to bring her home in a week or so.
If this year has taught me anything it would have a lot to do with beginning again. Embracing again. Believing again.
Letting go and living again.
This past weekend of welcoming our last child, a beautiful daughter, into this world on the very same days that this year comes to an end, sealed that into my heart like nothing else. The pregnancy, the days leading up to her birth, writing out everything involving pregnancy after loss from thought to paper… held some incredible moments of victory, hope and healing.
As I watched my husband hold our sweet Evie in the level 2 NICU tonight, my heart could almost cry. These are the very moments – preemie moments – we had so hoped for with our first. What a bittersweet life this is.
I look forward to this coming year, welcoming a new beginning. Bringing all the lessons from grief, and the way she has molded me over the past few years… with a great deal of this newness. This new life.
This year I begin again.
Much blessings and love to your family Franchesca. Wishing you all so much joy and happiness with the beautiful addition to your family. xo
Suzanne McRae recently posted..2013 New Year – The Journey Inward
What a beautiful way to look at things Francesca.
Peta recently posted..Resolutions or a plan for the future?
Congratulations!!! Praying sweet Evie is home soon and you heart is filled with love and peace!
Huge congratulations! Love the name too and so glad that you are both well xx
Oh Fran! She’s breath-takingly beautiful! These pictures are lovely! Love seeing each one of your faces as you look at Evelyn. Bubba is sweet looking down on her…and what a blessing to see her in your arms! And the tenderness on both her mommy & daddy’s faces! I feel so blessed to see this miracle … this new life…this new beginning. Blessings & love! XO
She is so beautiful!
I pray many blessings for your family <3
Kyla recently posted..Snow is Falling…
Beautiful, friend.
Beth recently posted..December 31, 2012
Oh Fran, she’s breathtaking.
I’m thinking of you and your beautiful family. Many prayer are sent your way.
I look forward to updates of you bringing new baby girl home.
Congratulations, she is so, so beautiful! Happy to hear she coming home soon :) enjoy every moment!!
Angela recently posted..Christmas 2012
Beautiful! Congratulations!
Congratulations Fran!!! Evie is beautiful!
Ashley recently posted..January Birthday’s and Angelversaries
I have to tell you my heart skipped a beat when I read your daughter’s name. My daughter was also named Evie – she went to be with Jesus just four hours after she was born. She was such a special treasure to me and is still.
May God bless you and your sweet Evie. <3
Sarah recently posted..christmas ornaments
Gorgeous! Wishing you all much happiness in the new year and praying she’ll be home with you soon.
Congratulations… she is beautiful!! What a perfect start to a new year <3
Congratulations!! Praise God. Such a blessing!!
You got me at “letting go and living again.”
Congratulations….she is so beautiful!
Debby Pucci recently posted..WEDNESDAY HODGEPODGE
Congratulations Franchesca, I am so beyond happy for you, and pray God’s blessing over you, Evelyn, and this new beginning for your family. God is so good! I absolutely love her name, so precious and special. Praying she gets to come home soon! Love you!
It’s so amazing that she’s here! I am praying for you and your family. Peace and blessings to you all.
BeckyG recently posted..Word Of The Year 2013
What a beautiful way to end 2012 and start 2013, hope the best for you, hugs and congratulations!
What a moment! Absolutely beautiful!
Thank you Rachael :)
A belated but joyous congratulations on little Evie’s arrival!!!!!! How incredibly wonderful!