I underestimated how stressful the NICU experience can be with another living child.
It just is.
We know we probably won’t have to do this much longer, but each day feels so misplaced. No matter where I am – home or the hospital – I feel split. Incomplete. And like I’m letting one of my children down.
I’m sure these feelings are normal for NICU moms and dads, but this is new territory for me.
My heart breaks the most for Bubby. His little world is being rocked to the core right now. We brought him up the hospital today, thinking he really needed to be with us. And he did, and he does but after a few hours he was just ready to jump out of his skin. He isn’t himself these days, and really… I can’t blame him.
On a brighter note, he got the chance to see his baby sister again. He was so excited about it too!
We are anxious to be at home, with both our babies.
Evie is doing beautifully. She is now able to bottle feed, and is holding her feedings down like a champ. We are so proud of baby girl. Her IV came out today, and really all we are waiting on now is the EKG on Monday. Her heart rate dropped the night she was born, and even though the EKG they did on her heart that night came back normal, they wanted to give it another week before releasing her. Since then, her heart has been doing beautifully.
Pete asked me the other day if I missed being pregnant with her. I miss parts of pregnancy, but the truth is she is so much more amazing on the outside. Of course:)
I just received these photos from our photographer, Beth, which were taken 10 days before I went into labor. So glad we have these to look back on…