I underestimated how stressful the NICU experience can be with another living child.
It just is.
We know we probably won’t have to do this much longer, but each day feels so misplaced. No matter where I am – home or the hospital – I feel split. Incomplete. And like I’m letting one of my children down.
I’m sure these feelings are normal for NICU moms and dads, but this is new territory for me.
My heart breaks the most for Bubby. His little world is being rocked to the core right now. We brought him up the hospital today, thinking he really needed to be with us. And he did, and he does but after a few hours he was just ready to jump out of his skin. He isn’t himself these days, and really… I can’t blame him.
On a brighter note, he got the chance to see his baby sister again. He was so excited about it too!
We are anxious to be at home, with both our babies.
Evie is doing beautifully. She is now able to bottle feed, and is holding her feedings down like a champ. We are so proud of baby girl. Her IV came out today, and really all we are waiting on now is the EKG on Monday. Her heart rate dropped the night she was born, and even though the EKG they did on her heart that night came back normal, they wanted to give it another week before releasing her. Since then, her heart has been doing beautifully.
Pete asked me the other day if I missed being pregnant with her. I miss parts of pregnancy, but the truth is she is so much more amazing on the outside. Of course:)
I just received these photos from our photographer, Beth, which were taken 10 days before I went into labor. So glad we have these to look back on…
Sweet friend, Bubby will be okay :) Just feed him loads of your’s and Pete’s love. It will take some time, but he will get used to this new life and he will love it :) Sending you so much love and good energy right now to your beautiful family. Love you beautiful mama xxx
Thank you so much friend, that means more than I can even tell you!! Love you to pieces!!
Franchesca recently posted..NICU Days
Your babies are so adorable! Love big brother’s look of awe & tenderness as he looks down on baby sister!!
I am hoping & praying that you won’t be splitting your time between 2 places & children much longer but that Evie is released, heart-healthy, and you can all be a home together!
Congratulations on your latest miracle (ALL children are miracles) & your 2nd time over the rainbow. ;-)
XO
Thank you so much Mary!!! I totally agree, all children are such beautiful miracles! Xoxo
Franchesca recently posted..NICU Days
I feel for you. My son ( I also call Bubby :) ) was born at 34 weeks and was in the NICU for 30 nights. It was so tough, and I can’t imagine going through that with another child. Hang in there. It will be better when Evie gets to come home!
Amanda
The Pretty Pinhead
The Pretty Pinhead recently posted..Wednesday Wants & Wishes
Thank you so much Amanda!
Franchesca recently posted..NICU Days
Thinking of you & praying your beautiful family is home together very soon!
Koru Kate {Koru Wedding} recently posted..Happy 2013!
Thank you!!
Franchesca recently posted..NICU Days
Congratulations and hang in there, you’ve given your Bubby a great gift ;) and I love her name!
Thank you Meg:)
Franchesca recently posted..NICU Days
Fran, your whole family is so beautiful. Little Evie is just precious. The picture of her brother smiling down at her is priceless. I’ll be praying that your family of is together under one roof soon.
Ashley recently posted..9 years
Thank you so much Ashley! xoxo
Franchesca recently posted..NICU Days
beautiful photos. May God grant you grace and peace in the upcoming days and weeks. I can’t imagine how hard it is for you right now! Evie is beautiful.
Aprille recently posted..Home {one word for 2013}
Beautiful!
Kyla recently posted..In the Morning!
This is exactly how I felt when having our baby in the NICU. Our older one was home, missing us, and we were at the hospital with a sick baby. It’s like you dont know which child to go to. Something that helped us, and we believe helped DS was to go to the hospital while he was sleeping. Either naps or for the night. We usually told him we were “going to the store” so he didn’t feel like his new baby was taking all of the attention from him.
After 63 days in the NICU, his brother was able to come home! He has welcomed him with open arms and I bet he dosn’t even remember all those days we went to the store. Bubby will be okay. Shower him with love, which I know your doing, your family will all be under one roof soon. This too shall pass.
Fran – your family is beautiful! Congratulations!!! And I can definitely relate to the difficulties of balancing life between the NICU and home. You may want to check with your nurses, and see if there is a Family Support Specialist, or a March of Dimes rep there. THey often have little programs that help the siblings adjust, and make them feel extra special. Not that you don’t make Bubby feel special, but sometimes that outside attention is an extra bonus. With all of the chaos that is “normal” in the NICU, they may have just forgotten to mention programs to you, or just assumed that someone else has told you. I hope that Evie passes with flying colors on Monday, and that you can all go home, together!
love and (((hugs))
you are so beautiful and so are your sweet babies. I know how you feel – it was the same for me when I was here with Mareto while Arsema was in Ethiopia… and then when I was in Ethiopia with her and he was here without me. Such a horribly torn feeling. Praying for you until she’s home and you’re all together at last. <3
lauren recently posted..starting the day well… with less fuss
She is so precious. I was the baby in the family so I wonder what it is like when a new baby joins the family. It is so wonderful that she has a big brother to protect her and of course a big sister angel to watch over her. ((HUGS))
Debby Pucci recently posted..WEDNESDAY HODGEPODGE
I am so glad she is here Fran but I also remember that mental pull of having one in the NICU and the rest at home when my rainbow baby was in the NICU, hang in there, you are so strong.
Jessica recently posted..Top 12 of 2012
You are lovely. Continued prayers for all of you. Looking forward, with you, to the day when your sweet little family is settled back home together to adjust to another new normal. Whatever normal is, anyway. :) Love to you…
Kelly @ Sufficient Grace recently posted..“You’ll Miss Me,” she said.
Oh now you’re bringing me back to my stressful days of NICU. I couldn’t even take AJ in see Ariel cause they wouldn’t let me. It was horrible. I was at home I missed Ariel and couldn’t focus without crying over everything. At the hospital I felt a little calmer cause I was able to hold her but I felt torn in half cause I couldn’t have AJ with me. It sucks.
Amanda Jillian recently posted..Tips for Group Portraits