To the little man who steals more of my heart every single day…
You have no idea – or maybe you do – what you do to my heart.
Every day since bringing Evelyn home from the hospital you’ve asked if we are going to the hospital or doctor, or both. Every day since her homecoming you’ve become my shadow, and pretty much shut every one out, except for Daddy, for a while. You’re slowly letting in more people again, but your safety bubble popped and I hope you know soon that we aren’t going anywhere. But I have to admit, it’s so nice to see you need me like this. You’ve become so independent, so grown, almost overnight.
As we get to know this sister of yours, I realize that love grows. I loved you and both your sisters instantly at birth. Over time that love grows in different ways for each of you, as your personalities take form and grow.
I love the way you need to hold mine or Daddy’s hand while you drink your milk or yogurt in the evening.
I love watching your face when you ‘show’ me you can count to twelve, and when you reach the number ‘twelve’, you squirm, fully expecting me to get so excited that I grab you and tickle you.
I love that you get excited about being at home.
I love the way you can make your Dad and me laugh ’til there are tears in our eyes.
I love that I got to hold your sticky-apple fingers in my hand tonight.
I love the way you and I can have our own dance party in the kitchen while you snack on cereal and I attempt to start our day.
I love the way your face lights up when you get to hold your sister.
Tonight you brought me to tears. I’ve never loved so much in my life. Babies make you do that, you know. Love so much it hurts.
Watching you watch over your sister with eyes full of adoration, talk about her with the with excitement, and ask about her when you don’t know she’s sleeping in the same room… it’s all more than I ever imagined life with two babies might be.
I’m exhausted, but I’m soaking this in. I know these moments will be gone before we know it. And if somewhere down the road you read about today, I just wanted you to know I loved you so much it hurt.