Well, I guess it is much harder to ‘plug back in’ that I imagined it would be. The change in pace is nice. A lot of my time is spent putting finishing touches on our bedroom, which I am redoing in a beach/ coastal theme (since we can’t live on the beach right now, I’ll bring the beach to us!), and also on Bubby’s room. His room is really coming together. I hope to post pictures soon. It’s a cross between a western/ cowboy theme (but not cutesy!) and John Deere. All boy.
Anyway, the glue gun, the iron and the clearance aisles at Target see a lot of me these days.
Bubby is growing so quickly I can barely keep up. He’s asking more in depth questions. It blows my mind, and breaks my heart all at the same time. Today he kept bringing me weeds (he calls them flowers). I would gush over them, and he just kept bringing more. This age, it’s just amazing. I say it’s my favorite, but I say that about every age he is. Except the early months of three, those were hard for some reason! ;)
But he is incredible. It’s been feeling a Texas version of fall these past few days so he’s been spending a lot more time outside. I like to peek out at him. Watch him play. If he knows I’m there he’ll want me to come out, which I eventually do, but I like to watch him in his element. I always wonder what goes through his mind. Sometimes he talks to himself, almost like he’s still trying to figure out this world around him.
He also bangs on the guitar a lot, while singing “Jesus Loves Me”. He blesses me in more ways than I can even type. To the point of tears!!! I hope he learns to play one day. I’ve been wanting to get a piano back in our home. I used to play for almost nine years, off and on. I’ve talked to Pete about getting one soon, and I was so glad to see him excited about that idea too. I was never very good at playing, but I did find it therapeutic.
Since we made the decision to wait on enrolling Bubby in MDO, the thoughts have been haunting me of what we will do once he and Evelyn are old enough to be in school… do we homeschool? Christian school? Public school? Oh dear. It’s been weighing a lot on my heart. To the point that I am worried about how quickly it will be here. Evelyn isn’t even one! I really shouldn’t be worrying, but I’ve found myself worrying nonetheless.
Today it dawned on me that I never even considered to pray about it. But more than pray, to trust God that he can guide us in all of those decisions that we will have to someday make. I felt like God just reached down into my soul and reassured me that he cares.
About every big and little thing.
About the disappointments we feel, the grief that is always a breath away, the worries that trouble our souls more than they probably should.
Ive been sinking my nose into more books lately. Specifically this one.
“Maybe you recall a time when you were excited about Jesus. Maybe you remember it as a phase, a part of your childhood, or as a dramatic life experience somewhere along the way. Would you like to yearn for a God-life again? Do you want to keep falling in love?… Then sink to your knees and pray… Jesus still meets you where you are. In your turning and praying, God promises his blessing.”