Love Story. {part 1}

Our love story, the story of how Pete and I met and became Mr & Mrs has a lot of background that I feel is worth mentioning. I am not normally long winded, but I hope today you’ll forgive me.

It all started with a few bad decisions and a lot of heartache I was causing my parents at the age of 15. Out of desperation my mom dragged my sorry butt to church, to hopefully get some help. I sat there, for about two years hating every minute of it. Counting down the days to my 18th birthday.

But while I was there, I did notice one thing.

Pete.

I didn’t know his name. I didn’t know who he was, what he liked, how many brothers or sisters he had, or if he even had a girlfriend.

But something about him caught my eye. I think it was his self-confidence and that he didn’t need a crowd to be happy.

I guess you can say I had a small crush on him, but nothing I ever thought would amount to anything. Because I had NO plans on willingly coming to church after leaving home. And this boy – he obviously loved coming, because he was always there.

Nothing at home really changed, but as time went on a couple of girls in the church would occasionally talk to me. One day they invited me to this camp thing for teens. They went on to tell me a little about it, and who’d be there. Somehow they dragged it out of me that I thought Pete was a cute guy.

I shook my head, “I don’t like him though. He’s just cute, ya know…”. They nodded in full agreement and with victory under their wings, making me believe they fully understood what I meant. I thought a lot of guys were cute. I went to a 5A high school.

“So his name is Pete?” I’d never known a ‘Pete’ before. “That’s cool.”

“Yea! He’s going to be there!!” They had this big plan forming in their heads.

In spite of the long list of rules this camp had, I went.

I was bored, the girls were nice, and going to get the attention of a cute guy couldn’t be so bad, right?

The day came for the bus to take us to camp. I could already feel the whispers. The entire time I had been going to this church I had only bothered to talk to two girls around my age. I knew no one else, but it didn’t take long for them to know who I was.

What started out as a casual remark to these two girls, ended up being retold and repeated (remember the game telephone?) as if I had this enormous crush on Pete. I didn’t even know the guy, how could I really like him?

Drama. drama. It’s what girls live on.

I had girls coming up to me (that I had never spoken to before) tell me he had just fallen out of a bad break up, or worse that he had no interest in me. Ouch! 

Apparently Pete’s friend (one that I know of) was egging him on to talk to me. At the time Pete had come out of a bad break up, and he wanted space I guess.

But we did end up talking. I remember it being so SO awkward. Times a thousand.

We were at a skating rink early that week, and when the other kids saw we were talking one by one (hopefully it was a terrible coincidence) they left us there, skating and talking ALL BY OURSELVES. Oh, and staring at us.

Mind you, I hate HATE being the center of attention. And not only were we the center of attention once, this happened TWICE that day. Left talking about God knows what, and skating while others watched. Now I knew what the animals at the zoo felt like.

Anyway I think this post is long enough! Yikes! If you’re still reading… you’re awesome.

… keep an eye out for part 2 in the next few days. There really is a good reason I’m giving so many details about this camp thing :]

Oh, and if you’re one of the girls in this post, you know I love you, but can’t tell this story with ya! ;]

ps – linking up with Melanie today, and also guest posting with Megan on marriage

Update: Read Part 2 Here

Heaven Just Got Sweeter.

And just like that she’s gone. It’s a little hard for my brain to process even though we knew this day was coming for some time now.

I know many of you have been following Nevaeh’s story for a while, and some of you even ask me from time to time about her.

Tonight she has slipped away into eternity.

I have a few scheduled – actually fun things – for this blog for the next few days that were planned before we found out she passed, but other than that I won’t be around much unless I just have to be for a few days.

Death is such a viscous enemy.

And tonight he won.

There are no words, just buckets of tears and broken hearts over this family’s loss…

update: the funeral will be at Shady Acres Baptist Church, Houston TX at 11am on Wednesday, November 2 for any who wish to be there.

UNwind

Times like this I am so so thankful for my little blog. A place to gather my thoughts, spill out my heart, share bits of my life. And it amazes me that people want to read it. Thank you for not making me feel like I’m always talking to myself :)

Tonight we went to visit Nevaeh and her family. The visit couldn’t have been sweeter. And I mean that. Almost like a breath of fresh air after such a heart-wrenching week.

People have told me that time heals, but I don’t think there’s an ounce of truth in that. The more time that passes, the less I understand all the crap that happens in life. The more time that passes, the less things make sense. I have found healing to be a choice, not a reaction to time.

On the way home tonight I was thinking about something else people say. They say when we get to Heaven ‘it’ will all make sense. I don’t believe that either. I am definitely no Bible scholar by any stretch of the imagination, so feel free to correct me- I won’t be offended. But I think when we get to Heaven none of it will matter. That’s how awesome Heaven will be. It will outshine all of our burdens in this life. The pain and heartache we have endured will make Heaven that much sweeter. Actually it already has. It will be a place where this emptiness will just be a distant memory.

I think about Heaven a lot these days.

Did you know you can get the blog posts emailed directly to your inbox by entering your email under the subscribe option to the right?

Dear October

… you’ve pretty much crushed my spirit. I think I’d like to fast forward to Christmas if it’s alright with you. But we all know Christmas won’t be the same this year.

I got a glimpse of your sunset yesterday in the midst of utter chaos. It’s still crazy to me that the sun can shine on the most awful days imaginable. Thank God for the privilege of witnessing a child’s world of innocence and delight. He chased the soccer ball around as the sun rays danced on the asphalt. As the world became a little more bitter. All the while Heaven is growing sweeter.

He has no idea how much I need him these days.

I really don’t feel liberty to share too much here at this time concerning Nevaeh, but I would just ask that you hold the Ramirez family in your thoughts and prayers. They need them more than ever.

Biopsy {Nevaeh Update}

Friends, I covet your prayers. Amy’s latest update on Nevaeh sent chills over me. What scared me the most was this line…

I feel like Nevaeh is fading away in some way.

Amy {Nevaeh’s mama} explains it in her post, but basically her little girl is tired.

And that is saying A LOT.

She is one tough cookie. She is constantly in pain, on a ton of chemo, antibiotics and pain killers. The combination of all these just create more problems.

The family is weary. They want to be together but with three boys in school it’s just not possible everyday.

Nevaeh will be having a biopsy today.

Praying for peace to surround them. An unspeakable peace. Pleading with God for a miracle.

God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
-Psalms 46:5

ps- I must stop and share this. Amy has told me on numerous accounts that some of you have stopped by and sent your love to her on her daughter’s carepage in the past, and I just want to say THANK YOU!!!!! I don’t know if you know how much of a blessing you are, but you ARE! xoxo

Day of Hope

Gosh. If there ever was a day to celebrate hope today would be that day.

My heart is overwhelmed with heaviness for Nevaeh. Things are just getting worse.

I kept telling Amy that God is good. God is good. God is good.

He is good but He is such a mystery.

I found myself repeating the things the most helpful people told me.

Hold onto hope.

He is good.

Don’t go there.

Hope. What a fragile thought. But so so powerful.

It breathes life into us at our weakest existence.

The next two weeks are crucial in Neveah’s journey against Leukemia.

I realize the Day of Hope is for remembering babies gone too soon, but I couldn’t help thinking what a lovely, yet awful coincidence that this tragedy is colliding with August 19th, the Day of Hope.

Life is such a gift.

Princess Nevaeh Update ~ Power in Prayer

I spoke with Amy, mommy to little Nevaeh earlier this week. I posted about her here if you would like to read a little about what I’m talking about today. Anyway, sadly most of her hair has fallen out. The first time she lost her hair she was a small girl, not overly self-conscious. This time we are not sure just how she will take it in the long run.

She’s six, and definitely more aware this time.

In other news they have had a rough week in the hospital but hopefully will be heading home today. I wanted to leave you with a link to her CarePage if you would like to follow her journey. I will post from time to time about her here, but Amy updates pretty frequently on CarePages. She has allowed me to share it with you all, believing the power of prayer. To read the updates on CarePages you just need to create an account but then all the updates will go straight to your inbox.

This picture was taken not even two weeks ago.

Thank you so much for stopping by,

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